No Pacemaker? C'mon Homeland

“BIG MAN IN TEHRAN”

Meter Reading: 96/100

Long Live Brody! Long Live Brody! Long Live Brody!

So here we are, one more episode left with Homeland again at its best giving the people what they want. Brody, taking another life of a highly-elected official in his own office, nonetheless.

I don’t care that Quinn knows Carrie is pregnant and did nothing to stop her from going into a dangerous environment. I don’t care that Carrie’s disguise wasn’t really a disguise at all. I don’t care that Saul sent Carrie on another mission, when he knew what a loose cannon she is. I don’t care that Akbari’s men left him in his office alone with Brody, a known terrorist and murderer. I don’t care that this show doesn’t make sense. I love this show, you love this show, even if you are yet to come to terms with it.

What’s so great about this show (let me caveat and say, when the show chooses to be great) is that we have never experienced characters with these personalities, these MO’s, these backstories, these highs and these lows. I will go on record and say that they are the most unique set of characters I have ever watched on TV. The show has carved out a niche, unreplicable (this is not a word, but again, I don’t care) by any.

So what’s next? Are we, as an audience, so satisfied with the last 3 episodes that we do not care what happens in the finale? The answer is no. I know I have just kissed a lot of Homeland booty in the preceding paragraphs but I am a firm believer that the legacy of this show will be determined by Sunday’s Season 3 finale.

So what’s going to happen????? We know they’ve signed up for a Season 4, but we do not know who is alive and who is not. Let’s get to the predictions.

PREDICTIONS:

• Brody is abruptly killed within the first minute of the episode as Akbari’s men storm into his office
• Fast forward to 5 months later, and Carrie’s baby is born and has red hair

ENJOY THE SEASON FINALE, EVERYBODY!

The Lucky Gum

“GOOD NIGHT”

Meter Reading: 90/100

At long last Homeland is back! Remember when the show made you want to do this. Now all you want to do is this. Brody back in the field, Carrie quivering her chin / worrying about Brody, Saul calling the shots on the operation, Dar Adal adding nothing to the plot, Quinn looking great, the Brody family / Mira nowhere to be found. It’s safe to say that the show has found its groove again and America and Homelanders all over could not be happier.

Side note: If you’re looking for the perfect meal to enjoy Homeland with, try Turkey tacos. The combination is magic.

Quinn knows Carrie is pregnant and apologies for sniping her down in the shoulder? Well, in the most Quinn way possible to apologize that is. The writers are certainly committed to keep Quinn robotic and emotionless. What happened to Quinn’s love interest? When confronted by Quinn’s comments, Carrie is quick to jump to the defensive, claiming that Brody is not the father! What is the audience lead to believe?

So we all know Quinn is a British actor but more and more he is starting to sound like he’s auditioning for the next Batman with that deep voice. I guess that’s all it takes to muster an American accent.

Fresh off his 16-day intensive boot camp, Brody looks to be in tremendous spirits, re-connecting with his former soldier self, turning his socks inside-out and joking with the boys. But he still prays and is close with his most recently acquired faith. Is it because he is scared of the mission ahead and needs something to believe in or is he the one with the master plan?? In any case, we missed you, Brody! As the mission gets underway close to the border of Iran, 3 operatives along with Brody are stopped by local police and investigate the truck Brody is in. As the police get closer, the lead operative calls out “Good Night” to trigger his snipers and take out the police. Boom! Police dead, Brody’s face drenched in blood. Brody freaks out and tries to escape by running into a boulder. Nice try! He is brought back to continue the mission.

As the lead operative and Brody drive further to the Iran border, alone, their truck hits a mine and their truck is split into two. It is unclear to the CIA or the audience (not actually) if Brody is dead or alive.

Director of this week’s episode: Okay, Claire (Carrie Mathison), we really need an epic chin quivering. One for the ages. Imagine, your baby’s daddy has just ran over a mine and we don’t know if he is dead or not. Anddddd, Action!

Several seconds later…..

Director of this week’s episode: PERFECT! PERFECT! You’re the best in the biz babyyyyyy!

As it is unclear if the two are still alive, the President’s Chief of Staff appears on the screen and proposes to use the drone on the two. Saul immediately changes the channel. THAT WAS AWESOME!

Alas, they are both alive. As Brody climbs out of the truck and retrieves the lead operative, who now has lost his left leg, Brody assumes the lead. Brody calls for help and gets it but is then surrounded by a large attack! Thank goodness for the perfectly constructed bomb shelter in the middle of the desert meant to withstand an army of bullets and grenade launchers!

With his operation and men in jeopardy, Saul calls in to abort the operation and hands over control to the General to get the men back home. Dejected and defeated, with lots of gum in his mouth, Saul exits the control room and we are lead to believe his days at CIA are over.

Brody refuses to abort the mission, pleading that he can make it to the border. What should the CIA do? Oh yeah, right. Hand over the phone to Carrie to talk Brody down. You got to hand it to Homeland; they are really committed with this whole ‘Carrie has complete psychological control over Brody’ thing. But to no avail, Brody does not listen to Carrie and tries to run for the border.

He is then immediately captured by the Iranian military, along with one other CIA operative. Brody explains who he is and claims that he is seeking political asylum in Iran. The plan works! Brody, and the operative, are taken to a holding cell where they meet Javadi in Iran. Javadi, to keep Brody’s mission a secret, shoots the operative in his head. “Now, we go to Tehran,” Javadi says.

C’MON HOMELAND!:

• Why isn’t Saul chewing Trident Layers? The acting director of the CIA should be chewing the best gum. C’MON HOMELAND!

Saul’s character is becoming a little bit of a joke. I can’t help but to laugh when Saul has a scowl on his face and is trying to look serious. Not to mention, when he slyly pulls out his gum and perfectly slides a piece out of the pack for Carrie.

• So aren’t drones supposed to be able to identify where attacks are coming from in addition to causing devastating, earth shattering blasts? How can a drone not know when an army of soldiers are in the distance? C’MON, HOMELAND!

SHOUTOUT OF THE WEEK:

David Klein, Homeland’s Director of Photography.

I was really impressed with the setting and cinematography throughout the entirety of the episode. Specifically, when Brody was praying and when the operatives and Brody were in daylight during their scenes. Not his first rodeo, he is currently the Director of Photography for Homeland and True Blood and is best known for working with director Kevin Smith on Clerks (awesome cinematography!), Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Clerks II, Cop Out, and Red State. Kudos!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

Will Brody be told he has a child out of wedlock?

CHARACTER(S) OF THE WEEK:

Shaun Toub 

Another awesome character on Homeland who is British!

Back in 'Zuela

“A RED WHEELBARROW”

Meter Reading: 65/100

My feelings for this past week’s episode can be summed up by clicking here. The reasoning behind my, still mediocre rating, is that as a critic, I need consistency and until Homeland can provide me with that, then that meter reading will not cross the 70-barrier, a score unseen by Homeland in several months. And BLW, I don’t care that I rated the first episode so high; it was a nostalgic rating! Hush up about it already.

Flashes of the old, brilliant Homeland surfaced in this past week’s episode and I for one, enjoyed the ride. See Homeland, when you have a Brody sighting in the episode, your audience is surprisingly happy. Then there was old Carrie, running after trouble, while being told to stand down by her superiors so she doesn’t jeopardize another mission. This b***h has got balls!

This is your show, stop steering away from it!

Quinn (what a haircut, by the way. The man is an Adonis!), left with no other option, was forced to take down crazy Carrie with a sniper shot straight to her shoulder, dropping Carrie to the street. In the moment, I was confused as to why the CIA did not want to intervene in Franklin’s (the Associate from the law-firm) attempted murder of the “alleged bomb mover”. But in order to not tip off Franklin and Bennett and risk the ruin of Saul’s master operation, I see why the CIA did not move in on Franklin.

Having said that, I’m thinking Carrie’s incentive to move in on Franklin and prevent him from murdering said “alleged bomb mover” would help to prove Brody’s innocence in the Langley bombing and make him a father worth having around…

Below is a recap from the scene where Carrie gets an ultrasound.

Doctor: So have you been drinking / taking any medication since you’ve been pregnant?

Carrie: Umm, well funny that you asked. I was taking Lithium up until a while ago because I was kind of in a mental hospital, these CIA guys had me committed, NBD. Then there was that stint where I was drinking non-stop, like A LOT OF DRINKING, even when I knew I was totally pregnant. Other than that, pretty much been normal!

Doctor: Yes, that does sound like you, Carrie.

C’MON HOMELAND!:

• So Saul is in Venezuela and man, he couldn’t fit in to a country worse than Venezuela. The man is so out of place, but when you show up with $10 million, people kinda sorta have to take you seriously. We knew this was going to happen, but I’m still upset it took 2/3 of the season to have it happen. C’MON HOMELAND!

I’m going to dedicate the next 2 C’MON HOMELAND’s! to everybody’s least favorite character, Mira. And she only holds that title because Dana Lazerow-Brody is no longer a character on the show (I hope!).

• Why is Saul breaking his back and burning himself on the stove to make Mira breakfast in bed? Somebody please explain to me how this would ever happen. C’MON, HOMELAND!

• Mira, enough with the sexual innuendos relating the amount of time to have sex with Saul to the amount of time Saul has before his meeting. Saul is not going to miss his meeting at the White House for you, please desist. C’MON HOMELAND!

I totally saw the strange, handsome man having an affair with Mira being a mole who steals information from Saul. It just makes perfect sense. But why is it so hard to tell what his ethnicity is? This could make for a great storyline…

• Why isn’t Quinn a stakeholder in larger CIA decision-making? Not only has he proven his worth as a soldier, he was instrumental in attaining Javadi and turning him to be an asset for Saul. My point is that I am sick of watching Dar Adal hand out orders. He’s just a bandwagoner who says “how high” when Saul says “jump”. It’s time for Quinn to get a larger role. Don’t get me wrong, he is an amazing soldier, but it’s time for more character development. Especially now that he is thinking of leaving the CIA, it’s a perfect time for it. C’MON HOMELAND!

PREDICTIONS:

• Brody checks into a rehab facility in Venezuela where he grows back not only the hair on his head, but also his face

• Carrie’s forced to have an abortion, in one way or the other

• The man who was having an affair with Mira works for Javadi since Javadi knows how to get to Saul

• Brody will be reunited with Carrie before he is reunited with his family

• With Saul in Venezuela, the mystery man who had an affair with Mira will hold Mira hostage and use her as ransom

• Dana Lazerow-Brody blackmailed the creator of Homeland to have a large role in this season because that’s the only way all of this makes sense

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

Will Brody be back in America this season?

CHARACTER(S) OF THE WEEK:

Jason Butler Harner

Do law firms usually hire trained killers / chemists as Associates? Because that’s awesome

All-Nighter in the Conference Room

“GERONTION”

Meter Reading: 50/100

Has anyone else noticed how awful and elementary the writing of the show has become?

C’MON HOMELAND!:

1.       Let’s start out with the obvious here. Mira is not a sex symbol. I repeat, Mira is not a sex symbol. This is what I imagine happened.

Writers / Producers of Homeland: “We need Homeland to be more sexy! We need sex appeal!”

Recently fired Homeland employee: “Let’s dress Mira in see-through lingerie! The audience will love that and let’s have her on-screen for 5 minutes in the lingerie. She is a sex symbol! This is a sure-fire hit!”

C’MON HOMELAND!

2.       Extremely predictable story-line to have Javadi become Saul’s asset. What well-respected show uses the same story-line twice?? And the scary thing is, this probably won’t be the last time either... C’MON, HOMELAND?!

3.       Okay, Homeland, we get it. Carrie is pregnant. We don’t need unnecessary vomiting to hammer that point home, when we saw 50 positive pregnancy tests last week and that same episode was titled “Still Positive”. We get it, Homeland. C’MON HOMELAND!

And if Carrie is pregnant and it’s been over 4 months since Carrie and Brody last saw each other, shouldn’t she be showing? Homeland, if you’re going to hammer home the point in back-to-back episodes that Carrie is pregnant, then make sure you get the details right!

4.       According to this, Damian Lewis is receiving a comfy $250K/episode of Homeland, when he doesn’t even have air-time. Leave it to Homeland, to not only not have its most polarizing character on the show, but to continue to pay him $250K/episode. C’MON HOMELAND!

Question of the Week:

Will Quinn shower this week and will he retire from the CIA?

STILL NEGATIVE

“STILL POSITIVE”

Meter Reading: 40/100

If you’re looking to read something positive, then I recommend you click on the ‘X’ button in the top right of your browser immediately.

It’s quite ironic, the episode title this week was “Still Positive” but there was nothing positive about this week’s episode. A story which frankly jumps around from topic to topic, introducing new character after new character hoping something will stick with audiences; ruthless, unnecessarily grotesque murders of innocent people (the Muslim family in episode 3 and this week’s ex-wife and daughter in-law massacre) to prove that the villain is that heinous; Quinn being relegated to Carrie’s driver and bodyguard instead of fully utilizing his skillset; the lack of Nicholas Brody- the show’s true star and the only reason I continue to watch the show in hopes that he can save what once used to be the smartest show on television.

Homeland has gotten lazy- while other shows take the time to tell a storyline through flashbacks from a character’s past and then seize that opportunity to better develop that character, Homeland chooses to speed up storylines with the character telling every detail of the story instead of letting the show tell the story. I know this is confusing, but bear with me. Homeland did something this week it rarely chooses to do- provide the audience with a peek into Saul’s past.

Without Brody in the mix, Saul’s character shoulders the load for this season. The audience was presented with a new Saul storyline- Javadi and Iran. Instead of drawing this out with a touch of elegance we were so used to in the first season of Homeland (i.e. the slow unraveling of Brody’s POW story through flashbacks and nightmares), Saul explains to Fara in a matter of minutes what his and Javadi’s history is. I already know the full extent of the story and don’t find myself captivated, especially now that his ex-wife (who Saul helped re-locate to the west) has been brutally murdered and Javadi captured, and soon to be interrogated and turned into an asset (sound familiar?).

Homeland peaked at the end of Season 1, it will never again ascend to that level because no storyline will be as novel as Brody’s was in that first season. We are now merely left with scraps and memories of how good Homeland once was and all we can continue to do is convince ourselves that every new storyline (and there are so many sub-storylines) will lead us to that same euphoria we felt during Season 1.

All joking and hatred aside, I really believe that Brody can make this show better and it is overtly frustrating that the writers choose to ignore this. In my opinion, every other character has peaked; they no longer have dreams or ambitions or have any room for development. Carrie will never not be crazy, Saul will never not want to be power-hungry, Dana Lazerow-Brody will never not be lost, Chris Brody will never not be silent, Jess Brody will never not be a bad mother, Dar Adal will never not be boring and have dyed hair. Brody is the show’s last chance to prove it has any fight left in it.

Therein lies the problem, what possible storyline could salvage the show? I hope I’m wrong, but I fear it’s just too late..

Anyways, let’s get back to this past week’s episode and C’MON HOMELAND. I don’t have much because honestly, I don’t really care about this show but here were some of my thoughts.

C’MON HOMELAND!:

1.       When has it ever been the MO of the CIA to trust known vigilantes and criminals? Saul and Carrie set a meet with Javadi and are totally surprised when he doesn’t show up and instead goes on a killing spree? Saul, you just proved the point as to why you don’t deserve to be the Director of the CIA. C’MON HOMELAND!

2.       A bathroom drawer full of positive, Carrie Mathison pregnancy tests????! This was definitely Homeland’s way of mentioning Nicholas Brody in an episode without actually having to put him on camera. Also, if we see 30-40 positive pregnancy tests, are we supposed to think Carrie has abortions? WHAT THE HELL, HOMELAND?!

3.       Where did Dana get the $40 to pay for changing her name? I thought they were broke? I know I hate on Dana Brody a lot but I’m for her changing the name. It proves to show how slow and dim-witted Jessica Brody is for not coming up with this sooner. If anything, when you meet somebody new, they won’t immediately be like “oh your last name is Brody, you’re the f****d up family whose father is a terrorist”. C’MON HOMELAND!

4.       Having a terrorist operation in a house next to the 9^th green of a public golf course? Yeah, that was clearly thought through. C’MON HOMELAND!

Question of the Week:

Will Homeland be good next week? (Hint: no)

Naked in Adams Morgan

“THE YOGA PLAY”

Meter Reading: First 45 minutes of the episode- 30/100; Last 10 minutes of the episode- 80/100

One of my biggest complaints this season is that the first 45 minutes of Homeland is usually unnecessary, filler plot. Not much usually happens, except for Saul mean-mugging somebody and Carrie crying and quivering her chin like a crazy person. And this episode’s apple did not fall far from the tree. I, like many others, feel invested emotionally and physically in Homeland and that is why I am the show’s biggest critic because I love the show and want it to be the best. You know your show is bad when the parodies of your show are more entertaining than the actual episodes.

Cases in point:

Saturday Night Live Homeland Parody

http://vimeo.com/55070029

Sesame Street Homeland Parody (credit due to CD)

http://mashable.com/2013/10/28/sesame-street-homeland-parody/

Anyways, let’s get back to this past week’s episode and unlike Homeland, I listen to what the people want and the people have spoken…

C’MON HOMELAND!:

1.       Jump to the beginning of the episode where we see our mystery man, assumed to be Saul’s target and mastermind of the Langley bombing, entering the United States. So I understand the point of border control and I would probably sum that up as “controlling the border”. It’s the small details that Homeland misses which really grind my gears. Here’s what I took away from that scene- if you are Middle Eastern (read: no American citizenship), well-groomed, dress in a nice suit and drive a nice car then you do not pose a threat to national security and should be allowed to enter the United States without as much as stepping out of your car or providing some sort of papers that show you as having business in the country where terrorism is our most pressing issue (besides the Affordable Care Act). C’MON HOMELAND!

2.       The aforementioned mystery man only able to satisfy his sandwich fix in the United States. Why is the audience left in the dark about just what that amazing sandwich was? These are the details I need in my life, Homeland. If you want your show to be the best, you need to make every attempt to show every detail. If this mystery man plans to be the “big bad wolf” so to speak, we need to be able to see how he thinks, what he eats. DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS. Don’t even get me started about why this man who has a finely tailored suit, does not carry a Tide To-Go Pen with him at all times. C’MON HOMELAND!

3.       I don’t buy that Jessica Brody would enlist the help of one Carrie Mathison to help track down her daughter when Carrie is partly to blame for everything that is wrong with her life and family. I’m sure Carrie Mathison sleeping with Brody is all water under the bridge now for Jessica. C’MON HOMELAND!

4.       The Yoga Play is a farce. When would it ever be possible for a person driving to go from DC to Bethesda, and then back to DC in 15 minutessssss?????? They’re not even trying to make sense anymore. C’MON HOMELAND!

5.       How can Dana walk away scot-free after helping a juvenile escape from a youth center? I hope they correct this in the next episode. At least, it seems, this storyline may be done with but seriously, this girl needs to be on medication. Also, what a terrible fake crier Dana is. You have the distinguished honor of learning how to generate fake facial emotions from one of the best in the business, Claire Danes, and that is all you can produce? C’MON HOMELAND!

6.       Mira just continues to disappoint. Your husband is trying to rid the United States of terrorist acts and all you do is disappoint, disappoint, dissappoint. Not only does Mira invite another man over to Saul Berenson’s home to have dinner, while Saul is not home, but she doesn’t even dress up for that dinner! Saul, I implore you, get rid of the dead weight! C’MON HOMELAND!

7.       Remember This Guy? Because clearly Homeland does not! C’MON HOMELAND!

As much as I hate on Homeland, I am excited for the next episode because it will most likely mean Quinn going super-ninja on terrorists and Saul putting that plan into place. It just stinks that we’ll have to wait out the first 45 minutes of the episode to see it…

Predictions:

Still on that Homeland to be cancelled tip. Don’t care what Showtime says.

Character(s) of the Week:

So glad to have Max back on the air!!!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0827561/

Question of the Week:

Is Brody dead?

The Master Manipulator

“GAME ON”

Meter Reading: 60/100

As much as this season has been a stinker in my eyes, I am continuously amazed by the genius of Saul Berenson. We discover at the end of this week’s episode that Saul has enlisted Carrie (and only Carrie) to carry out his secret plan. The Senate hearings where he named “the case officer in question” as having a relationship with Brody; having Carrie committed to a mental hospital; knowing that Dar Adal would do whatever it took to block the release of Carrie from the mental hospital; knowing that Carrie’s newfound publicity would draw the attention of interested parties hoping to break her out of the mental hospital in exchange for unraveling top-secret CIA information; staging a meeting with the lawyers where Carrie could ask to meet the “interested parties” in-person--- was all a part of Saul’s well-crafted plan.

Saul is the ultimate manipulator, and he is cold and calculated, putting whomever at risk to carry out his plan. He, along with Quinn are the only saving graces of this season and it is a shame, but I understand why, Saul cannot have more on-air time because that would foil the writers’ plan and give away the twist that Saul and Carrie have been working together this whole time.

I’d like to now introduce a new segment I’d like to call, “Did you pick up on that?”.

DID YOU PICK UP ON THAT?:

1.       At the beginning of the episode, the audience sees Carrie in the hospital, sleepless. She then hears screams from another patient down the hall being restrained by multiple doctors attempting to sedate the patient. Scary sight for a woman trying to get herself out of there. This scene reminded me and SCH of the 1975 movie, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Did you pick up on that?

2.       When Carrie hears the news that she will not be released from the hospital, she urges her lawyer to let her call her family. Whilst speaking with her father (who seems to be doing very well these days, embarking on several chess matches a day and #winning), Carrie expresses her desperation and implores him to call Saul and let him know, “I’ll do whatever it takes to get out of here”. What’s interesting about that is Carrie expresses the same sentiment to her doctor in last week’s episode. While watching, we think, “Wow, this woman is delusional, why would Saul who is trying to keep her down want to talk to Carrie?” Did you pick up on that?

3.       I’m sure you picked up on this next one, but the man, who Fara is tracking down through the missing money, is in Venezuela. Quinn, in the first episode of the season, was in Venezuela tracking down the “Tin Man”. Brody, who we first saw in the last episode was in Venezuela. VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA. Did you pick up on that?

4.       Now let’s get to the worst storyline of the season, Dana Brody. What a lost soul. What a dumb soul. “My father was a terrorist. The last true thing he said to me was “goodbye” when I was 8”. Wah, wah, wah, wah. Anyways….we see Leo break out of the youth center, hop in a car and who is driving? Dana! A car, a bad boy and Dana. Sound familiar? Finn…RIP. Did you pick up on that

Character(s) of the Week:

So glad to have Virgil back on air!!!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0545687/

Question of the Week:

Will Saul travel to Venezuela this season?